Last week, while I was ill, I couldn’t be bothered to shave. I grew a beard.
It looked magnificent. I looked magnificent!
I was like Aragorn. If I hadn’t felt a bit poorly surely I would have saved the Midlands from the evil hoardes of Ork-Bankers.
I was like Olaf Melberg, I was like Obi Wan Kenobi, I was like Che Guevara, I was like a Spartan warrior, I was like Sebastien Chabal. Just look what you can achieve with a beard:
I could have done anything – maybe even saved the world from everything. But I shaved it off while I was sat in the bath.