23% of women love their skanky armpits

Picture the scene…a beautiful white man and white woman on a white bed, in a white room, with a white sky outside, white bed linen, white pillows, white underwear….and they’re having a pillow fight.  A wonderful event for any couple.

You see a close-up the beautiful women in her perfect white vest top, pillow held aloft, a playful laugh upon her face and the scene freezes.  A caption comes up on the screen, ‘77% OF WOMEN FEEL SEXIER WHEN THEIR ARMPITS LOOK GOOD’.

Hold on a minute.  If you reverse that statistic that means 23% of women feel sexier when their armpits look minging.  Now that just doesn’t make sense.  Maybe one or two women in the country are trying to impress blokes who have a thing for dirty armpits but surely not a quarter of the population.

What an inane statistic.  But what is far worse is the value behind it.  I am not even sure what product Nivea are trying to sell but I’m sure most consumers who are not as mathematically anal as me will simply get the message – oh my goodness I better make sure I have lovely smooth armpits otherwise my worth as a human being will decrease, men will consider me ugly and life will be crap.

Nivea, get a life and stop trying to tell us what we should look like.

What will we have next?  81% of sportsmen prefer competing without haemorrhoids?

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